Should Parents Allow their Children to Make their Own Decisions?

Being a teen means we are responsible enough to make our own decisions, but not enough to run our own lives. Many people, including adults and children, do not understand this. The debate of should parents allow their children to make their own decisions, is still going on and people must understand the meaning of this question and why it is a big problem.

Parents should allow their children to make decisions on their own so they learn how to make them. If parents never let their children make their own decisions, then the children will never be able to make decisions later in life due to lack of practise. If they do not develop skills in decision making while young children will greatly suffer.

If parents allow their children to make decisions in their childhood, not only will they learn how to make good decisions but they will also learn the consequences of bad choices before having to go through them in and ruining their life when older. These way children can go through regret and consequences, in a healthy moderation that will benefit later in life.

When parents allow their kids some freedom and decision than they will develop their anayalitical thinking. However, if parents always guide their children’s lives and organize their lives for them, once the children graduate and move out those children will not be able to manage. Those kids have become so dependent on their parents that they need them always to do everything for them.

This does not mean that parents should let their kids do anything they want. Teens should have boundaries, and be guided by their parents. However, having a bit of “wiggle room” will go a long way later when it matters.

There are many ways to raise kids but it is also a good idea to trust kids until they prove otherwise. Many parents and adults think teens and adolescents are stupid and naive but it all depends on the situation and the child.  If a child does make the wrong decision, (i.e.: A teen goes to a late party on a school night regardless the parents forbidding) then they should be punished. This way, that child would learn from that mistake and see how not listening to your parents is a very serious thing.

Research shows that there is a part of the human brain that you are born with that is used when making decisions.  If at early stages in life that part of the brain is not used then it will simply "cancel out" and stop working. Therefore, by parents not allowing their children to make decisions, as simple as what they will wear the next day, they are doing sever damage to their future.

It is a known fact teens posses rebellion, may it be because of puberty or racing hormones every teen has it. If a parent forces their child into making a decision that they are against, the child may rebel and push farther away from the parent. This is a waste of time because when this happens, the child's decision maybe fuelled by anger instead of critical thinking.

By letting teens make their own decisions, it builds relationships and trust. When parents give their kids this freedom they feel trusted and they can’t help but put trust into their parents too. This way it builds a healthy relationship between parents and children.

There are advantages of free decision-making but what is the point of allowing a child experience sadness, regret and guilt while not even old enough to make decisions.

If parents give teens the freedom in making decisions they will take advantage of their freedom. Many parents may think, “Alright ill let her decide if she wants to go to that party, what the worst that could happen is? I know the parents, the home is close and she will be back before 1 am.” Next thing they know is they are getting a call to the police department. `Jenny’ was found drunk at the party discovered by a noise complaint. They were unsupervised (while the parents were out of town) and she was underage while the rest were in their twenties. No matter how great the kid they will find a way and take advantage of this choice.

Since teens are not matured enough to deal with the true realities of real life the usually do not think of the effects of their actions when making a decision. They will think it is simple and rush to a decision, on that is not rational. This decision may seem good at the time but later on they will realize the consequences, one that could have been avoided with the guidance of a parent.

Although parents owe to their children to experience everything possible, letting children decide on every decision all the time is an irrational thing to do. Taking into consideration both the pros and cons for letting children decide all decisions, the conclusion was made that teens should make most decisions and with the higher the intensity the more parents guidance added. This way the child/ teen would become a responsible adult due to the practise in making their own decisions and in witnessing good decisions being made by their parents.  As a wise man once said, “Practice makes perfect.”

Honesty Is Always The Best Policy

I agree that “Parents should always be honest with their children regardless the subject.” However, parents often avoid the truth on touchy topics. They usually refer to white lies and partial truth, trying to protect their children, while actually making it worse for them when they actually do find out the later on.

Parents set a good example by telling the truth to their children. If the kids know that they can ask their parents anything and get a straight answer, it will rub off and telling the truth will become a second nature. On the other hand, if parents are always lying to their kids and the kids find out the lies, why would they want to be the better person and tell the truth? Those parents should follow the golden rule; treat others like you want to be treated.

Telling only the truth also creates a positive environment for honesty.  Truth comforts children if they know their parents will give them a straight answer.  Knowing that their parents will be truthful with them gives a child a sense of protection he or she might not otherwise have, whereas being dishonest with them will create an unsure environment.   Being honest with one's children gives them the security of knowing that they can come to their parents with any question or concern and expect a reliable, certifiable answer.

Parents giving straight answers develop relationships and trust between parents and kids. It makes them comfortable to ask questions and have positive conversations together. Knowing that you can ask and tell your parents anything is something that all children should have, however, very few do.

Honesty also leads to success and higher self-esteem. Kids  whose parents have been honest with them throughout their lives  have greater personal and social successes. These kids generally have high self-esteem and confidence. They turn out to be adults having strength of character and get to be highly respected people.  The kids who have gained their parents’ good qualities like honesty also enjoy good relationships with their family, friends and colleagues.

Parents whom are honest to their kids help relieve pressure from their kids. If parents are honest about their life and past and do not lie about themselves being perfect, their kids don’t have as much pressure from measuring up to their parents’ accomplishments.  Also if parents tell their kids of their mistakes than the kids may get to learn from them instead of going through those problems themselves.

Being untruthful to kids is a waste of energy. Truthfulness saves energy for better usage in helping a child’s improvement. Instead of looking for ways to “protect” a child’s feelings parents should be truthful right upfront because the child will find out eventually.