Should Parents Allow their Children to Make their Own Decisions?

Being a teen means we are responsible enough to make our own decisions, but not enough to run our own lives. Many people, including adults and children, do not understand this. The debate of should parents allow their children to make their own decisions, is still going on and people must understand the meaning of this question and why it is a big problem.

Parents should allow their children to make decisions on their own so they learn how to make them. If parents never let their children make their own decisions, then the children will never be able to make decisions later in life due to lack of practise. If they do not develop skills in decision making while young children will greatly suffer.

If parents allow their children to make decisions in their childhood, not only will they learn how to make good decisions but they will also learn the consequences of bad choices before having to go through them in and ruining their life when older. These way children can go through regret and consequences, in a healthy moderation that will benefit later in life.

When parents allow their kids some freedom and decision than they will develop their anayalitical thinking. However, if parents always guide their children’s lives and organize their lives for them, once the children graduate and move out those children will not be able to manage. Those kids have become so dependent on their parents that they need them always to do everything for them.

This does not mean that parents should let their kids do anything they want. Teens should have boundaries, and be guided by their parents. However, having a bit of “wiggle room” will go a long way later when it matters.

There are many ways to raise kids but it is also a good idea to trust kids until they prove otherwise. Many parents and adults think teens and adolescents are stupid and naive but it all depends on the situation and the child.  If a child does make the wrong decision, (i.e.: A teen goes to a late party on a school night regardless the parents forbidding) then they should be punished. This way, that child would learn from that mistake and see how not listening to your parents is a very serious thing.

Research shows that there is a part of the human brain that you are born with that is used when making decisions.  If at early stages in life that part of the brain is not used then it will simply "cancel out" and stop working. Therefore, by parents not allowing their children to make decisions, as simple as what they will wear the next day, they are doing sever damage to their future.

It is a known fact teens posses rebellion, may it be because of puberty or racing hormones every teen has it. If a parent forces their child into making a decision that they are against, the child may rebel and push farther away from the parent. This is a waste of time because when this happens, the child's decision maybe fuelled by anger instead of critical thinking.

By letting teens make their own decisions, it builds relationships and trust. When parents give their kids this freedom they feel trusted and they can’t help but put trust into their parents too. This way it builds a healthy relationship between parents and children.

There are advantages of free decision-making but what is the point of allowing a child experience sadness, regret and guilt while not even old enough to make decisions.

If parents give teens the freedom in making decisions they will take advantage of their freedom. Many parents may think, “Alright ill let her decide if she wants to go to that party, what the worst that could happen is? I know the parents, the home is close and she will be back before 1 am.” Next thing they know is they are getting a call to the police department. `Jenny’ was found drunk at the party discovered by a noise complaint. They were unsupervised (while the parents were out of town) and she was underage while the rest were in their twenties. No matter how great the kid they will find a way and take advantage of this choice.

Since teens are not matured enough to deal with the true realities of real life the usually do not think of the effects of their actions when making a decision. They will think it is simple and rush to a decision, on that is not rational. This decision may seem good at the time but later on they will realize the consequences, one that could have been avoided with the guidance of a parent.

Although parents owe to their children to experience everything possible, letting children decide on every decision all the time is an irrational thing to do. Taking into consideration both the pros and cons for letting children decide all decisions, the conclusion was made that teens should make most decisions and with the higher the intensity the more parents guidance added. This way the child/ teen would become a responsible adult due to the practise in making their own decisions and in witnessing good decisions being made by their parents.  As a wise man once said, “Practice makes perfect.”

Honesty Is Always The Best Policy

I agree that “Parents should always be honest with their children regardless the subject.” However, parents often avoid the truth on touchy topics. They usually refer to white lies and partial truth, trying to protect their children, while actually making it worse for them when they actually do find out the later on.

Parents set a good example by telling the truth to their children. If the kids know that they can ask their parents anything and get a straight answer, it will rub off and telling the truth will become a second nature. On the other hand, if parents are always lying to their kids and the kids find out the lies, why would they want to be the better person and tell the truth? Those parents should follow the golden rule; treat others like you want to be treated.

Telling only the truth also creates a positive environment for honesty.  Truth comforts children if they know their parents will give them a straight answer.  Knowing that their parents will be truthful with them gives a child a sense of protection he or she might not otherwise have, whereas being dishonest with them will create an unsure environment.   Being honest with one's children gives them the security of knowing that they can come to their parents with any question or concern and expect a reliable, certifiable answer.

Parents giving straight answers develop relationships and trust between parents and kids. It makes them comfortable to ask questions and have positive conversations together. Knowing that you can ask and tell your parents anything is something that all children should have, however, very few do.

Honesty also leads to success and higher self-esteem. Kids  whose parents have been honest with them throughout their lives  have greater personal and social successes. These kids generally have high self-esteem and confidence. They turn out to be adults having strength of character and get to be highly respected people.  The kids who have gained their parents’ good qualities like honesty also enjoy good relationships with their family, friends and colleagues.

Parents whom are honest to their kids help relieve pressure from their kids. If parents are honest about their life and past and do not lie about themselves being perfect, their kids don’t have as much pressure from measuring up to their parents’ accomplishments.  Also if parents tell their kids of their mistakes than the kids may get to learn from them instead of going through those problems themselves.

Being untruthful to kids is a waste of energy. Truthfulness saves energy for better usage in helping a child’s improvement. Instead of looking for ways to “protect” a child’s feelings parents should be truthful right upfront because the child will find out eventually.

Is Christmas Too Commercialized?

Christmas is the time of year when the biggest sales go on. Stores compete with each other to get the rushes of shoppers in the holiday season. Then after the holiday has gone by, stores try to get sales on whatever they can before the year ends, so called, Boxing Day. People are no longer lively in the streets and never are there kind words said between two strangers, but it is an obsession of gift getting and giving going on in the holiday that takes over the true meanings of spirit and peace.

For large chain stores, it is all about the shoppers spending their money on all the useless items they sell at Christmas. Every year, retailers and suppliers look for more and more ways to come up with things to attract consumers to buy more decorations, lights, ornaments, and anything that will have a related Christmas theme and will sell.

What happened to the true spirit of the season, harmony and kindness toward others? Long gone are the days of planning, anticipation and secrecy to make that perfect gift for your loved one. Stockings that are knitted, woven baskets with a fresh baked loaf of bread and a jar of homemade jam for your neighbours are no longer existent.

We work hard throughout the year to guarantee a good Christmas. When children ask for something which exceeds the budget, parents will say, "Ask Santa Claus," as if the merry old elf's greed is by some means tolerable. When we purchase a new home, the first question asked is, "Where will the Christmas tree go?" Christmas is always on our minds.

In Romania, it was tradition to put up the tree on Christmas Eve. Over time, we have done so earlier and earlier, in order to be prepared. We have now given ourselves more time and more of an excuse to get and give more presents.

In previous generations, gifts and food were homemade. Christmas was a year round endeavour, everything from scratch. The difference today is, we can see the preparations happening but we are not secretly knitting, sewing, building and crafting our gifts and holiday accouterments but buying already made items.

It all seemed much simpler then in comparison to the stress, tension and competitiveness in our contemporary holiday celebrations. We stress as we bend head-over-heels for the wants and desires of our children, family members and friends. We stress, as we look forward to the family's holiday get-togethers or the office Christmas parties to getting gifts we do not really need. It has been a continuing process accelerated by the media (that runs our lives anyways,) that feeds our need and desire for possessions.

Stroll through any store the day after Halloween and you will find Christmas displays emerging. Drive through any village, town or city the weekend after Thanksgiving to see the neighbourhood competitions of light shows on the lawns across the country. Shoppers line up outside department stores at three in the morning waiting to grab the hottest gadgets from the shelves pushing, shoving and cursing their fellow-shoppers.  Along the road of Christmas expansion, we seem to have lost the true meaning of Christmas, and have gotten so far, it is not appropriate to even call it that name any longer.

Whether we are struggling economically or not, we need to understand what is really  important in our lives, especially during the holiday season. The commercialization of Christmas has been on the rise for years and continues to get worse. It is our responsibility as the new generation, leaders to get back to basics and end the craziness and growing commercialization of the holiday season.

In many ways Christmas, like other international occasions such as Easter, Valentine’s Day, Mothers/Fathers day and others have become very commercial, it would appear to be all about buying gifts, flowers, chocolates and god knows what else. Children make huge long lists with the average child’s list reaching a staggering 15 or more items. Christmas is acknowledged as the season of loving and giving. Santa Claus is the focal point and with children thinking they have their parents and “Santa” shopping for them, they make their lists even longer and get even greedier over the years.

I fear we are become blinded by the exchanging of the gifts then the real meaning of the holidays. Christmas, as other holidays are not just about gifts, it is about family and being with the ones you love and spending quality time together. Yes, Christmas will be filled with movies seen a million times and we are all going to eat far too much food and feel very sick on Christmas night. However, instead of hastening out or surfing the net for those ‘special gifts’ why not consider making something from your heart instead of from your wallet.

Christmas has become excessively commercial, but it can be changed. It all starts with small steps, small changes. In the future we should always remember the true meaning of the Holidays, and push others to remember too. Before you realise it, Christmas will start to mean more than the latest tech gadget or toy. It will once again come to stand for love and the spirit of giving.

The Internet and our Brain

The internet has many effects on our brains and  yet is both a blessing and a curse. It is easy and helpful when you are in a rush and need quick directions to someone’s home. However, in school or major righting and information necessary  internet is taking a toll on our skills in research, focus and many others.

Finding info these days is too easy, we are not improving our research skills but quite the opposite. In previous generations, one would have to go to a library or other area to get information. One would have to search in countless books and got to countless places to get just a small amount of what we can get in a matter of minutes off the web. Now, when searching for information, we go straight to Google without even thinking about looking in encyclopaedias, dictionaries or other references. We go to the easiest and most comfortable way to find info, Google. We just type in a key word and there are hundreds of pages at our disposal. Hundreds of pages that would take months to find in a primary source search.

It is helpful to have things at the click of a mouse and not have to think twice about the info. However, truth be told not all things on the Internet are true. With the right knowledge, anyone can create your own website where people get information. Really who knows if the info is true? That is the problem, it is a very tricky thing to know what cites are trustworthy and which are not. Whomever that set up that cite can put any information into it without  many knowing any better. For example Wikipedia is one of the most used cites on the web because of its abundance of information. what people don’t know is it is a free encyclopaedia that anyone can edit. This means that the information could be made up and fictional but is still posted. Just because it is on the web does not mean it is true.

There is a fine difference between how people read when reading books or articles on the internet, verses in print. When you are reading a book or article in print there are no distractions, at least less then on the computer.  When reading on the web people get distracted by the mouse, the key board there, and having something to touch and play around with. They can type in different websites and click on different things, but it usually gets them very distracted and off topic on what they’re supposed to be doing.  The physical aspect of the reading is very different but so are the  many options. When on the computer there are so many choices of  things to do such as, Facebook , email and YouTube . While sitting and reading in print it is much easier to stay focused.  

Another  difference Google has on people is the way their  brains read and think.  Many important experts even admit that they have become used to to the internet articles and can no longer read long novels or long articles in print. They claim after a certain point of time they get bored and try to find something else to do. Many have stopped reading altogether. This is such a phenomenon because even English majors and people who have devoted their lives to the Language Arts have given up them because they have almost totally lost the ability to read and absorb a longish article print.

The issue of not being able to focus and read long pieces of writing is not only dealing with print articles but also on the web to. We are prone to skimming and scanning for pieces of information that could be of use to us that we do not even take the time to read the whole article and understand its meaning. We merely seek convenience and ignore what reading was previously about. Reading was a way for us to challenge our minds in literature and prose but now it is just an insult to its previous purpose.

The internet is taking a toll in our lives.  We have become lazier and no longer use our brain as we used to. We try and find the easy way out of everything and have lost many skills we used to have in reference, concentration and many more. We must learn to enjoy literature as we used to, before all is lost and it is too late.

Child Labor

This week we are writing about child labour and our feelings towards it. My opinion is much like others’, it is wrong and it should stop.  Many young children from the ages of 3 to 19 work in factories to pay off their families’ debt, this way these children may spend their entire childhood working in a factory and later in life not have a proper education and end up working there again.  This is unfair compared to the privileges that we children have in Canada.

            Many children in third world countries are born into a family with their life almost planned out for them. The children must go to work in a low paying job to pay off their parents’ debt. These children nor the parents have any way of knowing when the child will have done paying off the debt because they are never paid with physical money but with time. This way many ‘owners’ of factories trick the child or parents into thinking that they are close to paying off their debt, when in fact they aren’t. Thus, the factory owner makes the children work harder in hope to be finished soon when truthfully they have many years more. This can go on for a long duration until the owner is finished with that child. This usually happens when  they are not children anymore, but adults who require fair pay, and who wants to pay an adult more for a job a child could do for less money?

            Not only is the method of payment unjust to children but so are the circumstances they are required to work in. Most of these children are not even clothed properly for normal conditions let alone the job they are asked to do. For example, a child might be a metalworker that labours with hot and bright flames that can shine very brightly in their eyes and this child may not have any protective eyewear. This may cause long-term damage as well as short-term damage. This child may get burnt or develop bad eyesight from long hours they could also easily inhale toxic gases from the factory and grow lung diseases.

            These child labourers  are treated as slaves, maybe worse than that. They have no idea what life they could have but they just get through every day that hopefully in the near future, they will be free. These children are so naive and hard working that they do everything they are told without thinking about it, just because they are told to. None go to school and are not ever taught how to properly read or right and none are aware of the wonderful and interesting features of the world around them. They will never know how many beautiful things our world has to offer and will never get to explore them. The few that have the chance of going to school do, those children are considered as privileged when others in Canada and other fortunate areas in the world complain about school and have no idea how lucky they are.

             The adults that use child labour should be stopped. In these third world countries there are  laws to protect these children or  and those that are against child labour, but these laws are not followed. In these countries, the government usually ignores this unfair treating of children because this child labouring usually help the rest of the country. This is a very sick thing to do, get children to work from dawn to dusk in dangerous jobs for cheap labour for the country to make more profit. These countries use their child labour to make more profits than they are paying their workers, and the government  ends up getting most of it. Most of the money even made by these children are taken by taxes the government later collects.

People in other fortunate countries that have power should take action because if anyone can make a difference, it would be them. This should happen soon because the longer time that is waited the more children will be mistreated.

            I think that these parents should find ways for  their children to be able to work and learn  because it is not fair that they do not get a proper childhood. Truth be told, they will end up working in a job like that when they are older so they should get a chance to be a kid when they still are. 

Remembrance Day

Remembrance Day means many things to many people, and to me it is a day to be thankful of our country. This day might mean to remember their lost ones for many people but for me it is a day to be thankful that the country I live in has such wonderful people who are willing to sacrifice their lives for the good of others.

Many losses come to mind on Remembrance Day, such as our loved ones and our losses. This is not the case for me thought, I have never had to experience this sorrow so I am quite unaware of the horrors that come to a loved one dying, and I can only imagine and try to feel for others. Nevertheless, I am proud to be a citizen of Canada and know that then and now there are people fighting for my well-being. To know that others are risking their lives for us I feel that there is hope in the world for crime and war that there is something better to fight for.  

I feel that remembrances day is a day to celebrate Canada’s accomplishments and grieve for the soldiers’ fate. In these few hundred years that Canada had existed, we have accomplished  many things and changed many things in the world. Our accomplishments are great but so are our losses. We have lost so many from our country and we will never forget that they once loved and were loved

When November 11th comes, the whole country shows their gratitude to our veterans and soldiers that fought for our freedom. The Canadian flag is one that is proud to be held on Remembrance Day because as such a young country we have gone through so much.  Our country wears poppies on our chests to show our appreciation for soldiers that paid the ultimate price.  We give moments of silence all around the country to reflect and think of their sacrifices for our freedom. The poem 'In Flanders Field' is remembered and retold to remind others of the soldiers’ bravery. We do all we can to remember and show our respect for their courageousness and forfeit.

Remembrance Day is not only about thinking about the past but also the present. We have Canadian soldiers in many countries in the world not only fighting for Canada but also for other countries and lives. Canada has reputation of the country that is always helpful and will always help when it is needed. In the poem 'In Flanders Field’, it is stated that; to you from failing hands we throw. The torch; be yours to hold it high. This means that as Canadians if we do not continue to fight for our rights and our country their hard work and sacrifices will be for nothing.

As I was born in another from another country, Remembrance Day always holds special significance for me. It is an opportunity for us to parade with pride, showing our respect for those that went before us, and our pride in the accomplishments of our country. Remembrance Day affords service members, cadets and RCMP officers the opportunity to publicly demonstrate our histories, accomplishments and our fallen comrades. 

Girl Power

            In history, girls were always the underdogs when it came to power and authority. Before men had gained this advantage they had worked hard in getting their power, this hard work has waned to a small amount now a days. The MacLean's Magazine article “Are we raising our boys to be underachieving men?”  mainly talks about women's recent improvements and shocking decreases in men’s reputation.

            Typically, boys have the authority in the work place, which makes them smug, and tend to work less than girls do. This overconfident attitude even starts at a young age; in school boys tend to get lower grades, study less and have a higher dropout rate than girls. Recent statistics show that males have a dropout rate of 10.3 percent while females have only 6.6 percent and this percentage is made mainly of teenage moms dropping out in order to support their child or other family problems. 

            It is proven that girls mature faster than boys do, which means that girls have the advantage when it comes to learning. Girls mature faster and are more serious about learning sooner than boys . Girls stay concentrated longer and are less likely to be scolded or get yelled at which gives them a  positive impression about school.   Once boys get the impression that school is stupid and that the teacher is out to get them are convinced that it is a better idea to drop out than stay and be yelled at. After this realization the rest is like a chain reaction, once one drops out the rest get pressured and soon follow.  

            One solution to these attention problems are single gender schools. Single gender schools would be used to remove the distraction factor and so each gender can work on skills that they typically need help with .  There are pros but there are also major cons to single-sex schools that will make a huge impact on the students. The major con would be that  social skills with the other gender would be worse then in a coed school. If schools only consist of one gender that gender will not be used to its opposite and later in life when they are mixed with the other gender they will have major problems working together.

Not only do women dominate the lower schools but they also dominate universities and colleges. Men only make up 30 to 35 percent of most colleges and universities that makes finding educated male workers a hard thing to do. In addition, the dropout rates for boys in high school make the numbers of men who actually go to the next type of learning even smaller. Most boys who finish high school do not even go to university or college to get a career but only stop their education and go right into a job that will not give them a future of improvement or importance.

             These high college/university rates for women mean that they have better education than men do. This is a great thing for women because they are on top of the game and are in high demand. This necessity exists because highly educated workers are always needed. If someone fulfills the requirements of the job, gender does not matter.

            Women have made so much progress recently that the “glass ceiling” has been  almost completely removed. At this rate, women will end up being heads for all major companies and men will no longer dominate. Many men as well as women think that this will be a problem. They think with an unbalance of men and women in the work place there will be hardly any “male talent” left. Frankly speaking, the roles will only be reversed and women will be in the place of men, this may be a good thing instead of bad. Women will get the equal chance to dominate as men did for many centuries  and huge improvements may be made.

            No matter when this change of roles will occur, there will also be a compromise somewhere in the middle where both parties will be equal. When this time comes, I predict that it will be the most innovative time because both genders will work together as equals and the world shall embrace the ideas and will be enlightened by both groups, for each has tricks up their sleeves.

            The work place has and will have to undergo a huge change but so will  the home of the traditional family. The kids go to school, the mom stays at home and cleans while the dad makes all the money. This is not how the typical family looks now a days, the  number of stay at home dads has increased and the numbers of working moms has also increased which puts a spin on the norm of families.

            In conclusion, women at this point have a good lead and an advantage over boys in many areas, which will help them in the end and in high positions of power. If boys do not pick up the pace soon they will be too far behind to catch up and the girls will already be improving, raising the bar even higher.  Nevertheless, just because women now have the advantage there is not that big of a gap between the two and no reason to get cocky and slack off. As a wise man once said, “Those who forget the past are bound to repeat it.”